Guard, above all things, the purity of your vision.
Death is not the worst thing that can happen.
Time is priceless and cannot be refunded.
Abstain willingly, indulge, without fear, at your own risk.
Accept the ways of others; respect first your own.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all.
Do not watch television; program yourself.
Read everything; believe nothing.
Own nothing so you may be owned by nothing.
Keep your body strong.
Eat raw from what is living; do not eat what's dead for more than a day or was never alive.
Medicate wisely; some substances yield no benefits or fewer than their cost.
Avoid police at all costs. If unavoidable: lie and deny. If that fails: flee. If fleeing isn't an option, judge the risks of being caught against those of fighting to the death.
Stray your attention from advertisements, they're made to create, enhance and exploit weakness.
Do not mind sports.
Be weary of science as not all can be measured; what is known of any importance is kept secret.
Maintain aesthetics; appear and act in accordance with your strengths and how you wish to be treated.
There are no possessions; steal everything you can and don't fret over what's stolen or lost, including life.
Guns can't be denied. It's dangerous to let those with the most guns decide who else gets one.
Fight with a purpose; run away rather than hurt, hurt rather than mame, mame rather than kill.
Trust; expect betrayal.
Eschew conscience, act on knowledge and instinct; a mind divided by rights and wrongs is easily conquered by influence.
History is lies; observing the present reveals facts.
Do not speak unless it improves on silence.
Treasure silence when you find it.
It is better not to speak of things you do not understand.
While being mindful of your duties set
time aside to be alone and do nothing.
If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Freedom discovers us the moment we lose concern over what impression we are making or are about to make.
The torment of precautions often exceeds the dangers to be avoided. It is sometimes better to abandon one's self to destiny.
It's possible for what we know to be wrong but we still must trust what we know so we can act upon it; this is faith.
If we have the wisdom to learn, all may teach us their virtues.
Things are not what they appear to be nor are they otherwise.
Do not seek; acknowledge. To suppress a truth is to give it force beyond endurance.
Where fear is, danger lives and where fear is not, danger dies. Where the tiger and the man are two, one may die. Yet where the tiger and the man are one there is no fear, there is no danger: for what creature will attack itself.
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else.
Love is harmony even in discord.
Be near when help is needed, be far when praise and thanks are being offered.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
When in another's lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life.
The Principia Discordia
FNORD
The Revised Rules of Acquisition
To those who heed these words: hold them not in memory but in your deeds.